Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
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using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
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This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.