Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
