I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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