i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
