There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
