And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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