It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize