dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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