How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize