At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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