I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
