i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
