I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
