so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.