Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway