2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants