those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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