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I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
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