She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
