don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
