just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
