Where did you get a picture of my penis
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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