I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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