that's an acceptable place to lick
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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