May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
