I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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