We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I have fence marks all over my body
Randomize
