It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
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How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
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I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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