I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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