dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
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I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
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He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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