the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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