Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Randomize