He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
