tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
