Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
