never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
