Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
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I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
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I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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