When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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