why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I want to fling myself into the sun
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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