you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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