I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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