Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
