answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
