I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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