Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize