remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
