Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
