Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
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Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Let's paint friendship bongs
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You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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