I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
