im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize