If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
