My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
We need to get me chipped asap
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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