Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
