i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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