I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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