she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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