Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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