i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
