Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
