Plan B is the new Plan A
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
