Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
