Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
