Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
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I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
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he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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