Where is the hickey?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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