well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
