My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
It's Friday. Sex?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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