god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize