Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize