Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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